


The Second Way To Bake A Cake

by yaodai



Series: Timetravel, Cake and Sasuke the Cat [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, JiraOro Day 2019, M/M, Time Travel, boruto time travel arc solves all of the problems, cake solves all of your problems, cat solves all of your problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:35:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21583876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yaodai/pseuds/yaodai
Summary: Jiraiya travels back in time, adopts a cat and applies the obtained knowledge to Orochimaru.It works surprisingly well.
Relationships: Jiraiya/Orochimaru (Naruto)
Series: Timetravel, Cake and Sasuke the Cat [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1585813
Comments: 12
Kudos: 386





	The Second Way To Bake A Cake

The Second Way To Bake A Cake

One moment Jiraiya was peacefully drowning, the other he was standing in a messy bedroom, utterly confused and lacking bleeding holes in his body.   
He... shouldn't be all that surprised. 

Time travel was apparently a thing, as proven by his odd, odd meeting with one adult Sasuke Uchiha.

"Good for him," Jiraiya muttered.

He wondered if the man also was thrown back in time by being beaten up into a bloody pulp and then drowned. He hoped not; there was a kid hanging out with that new Sasuke and that would be just sad. 

Jiraiya sat down, in the middle of the room, right on the floor and breathed deeply. He probably should open a window or something. It rank. 

The adult Sasuke was a surprisingly calm person to hang out with, Jiraiya remembered. Nothing like the fuming ball of anger and arrogance the bratty version of his seemed to be made of.  
It looked like Naruto was right after all, it looked like Naruto achieved his goals and brought the dimwit Uchiha back.  
Jiraiya was glad to be wrong. 

The calmness also reminded him of something else, of somebody else.  
Long time ago Orochimaru was like that, quiet but smart, melancholic but with no patience for being straightforward, keeping his cards close and observing everyone else.   
Well, Sasuke was hanging out with Orochimaru for quite some time, sometimes some things tended to just stick.

Jiraiya ran his fingers through hair and wondered.   
If Naruto was right, then maybe...

Maybe there was a chance. 

First he just had to figure out where and when he was.

And open the window. 

xxx

It didn't take long to figure out that he had just returned to the village after his three year old sabbatical.  
No wonder his flat looked like hell and smelled even worse.

He had to start somewhere, so Jiraiya starts with opening the damn window and then a coughing fit, because three years of dust suddenly puffing up in the air... not the greatest idea he ever had. 

Jiraiya didn't remember doing it the last time, but back then he had spent about a dozen hours in Konoha before he learned that Tsunade decided to do the exact same thing he did - getting the hell away with a sad orphan under her arm - and rushed after her. 

This time Jiraiya saw no reason to go after her - he knew for a fact that she was doing just fine and somehow managed to raise Shizune into a person way more reasonable than any of the sannin ever managed to be.   
Besides, he doesn't miss being beaten up. 

When Jiraiya closed his eyes, he still could feel the damage inflicted on his body a few minutes before he died.   
He didn't miss the pain.

Returning the flat to the state similar to a functional human abode took hours and hours of dull work and exactly zero ideas on how he was supposed to proceed.   
There was no war - just the uncomfortable tension between the shinobi nation, a clear sign that another conflict was already brewing. Jiraiya didn't feel like could do anything about the incoming conflict; people still raged, still wanted blood, not tired enough yet to consider stopping. 

But kept thinking about Sasuke, the Adult and calm one and misses his own friend.   
Strongly enough that he decided to do something about it. 

xxx

"Don't you ever talk to me," were the first words Orochimaru said to him, fuming with anger, shoulders all tense, eyes shining dangerously and with a promise of imminent violence. 

Jiraiya looked at him, up and down, because this Orochimaru is pissed beyond reason and definitely like he missed too many meals, but at the same time looks much softer than the Orochimaru from the future - all angles and odor of rotting corpses surrounding him.

"How come you summon snakes?" the question came out of nowhere and tumbled out of Jiraiya's mouth.

"...what?" Orocihmaru stopped his fury for a moment, quirked eyebrow and looked at Jiraiya like he was a crazy person. 

"You're like a stray cat when you're angry, you know?" Jiraiya continued. "All hissy and with your shoulders going up like that."

Orochimaru made a very confused noise that boiled right back into fuming. Then he turned on his heel and shunshinned away. 

xxx

Walking back home, Jiraiya kept thinking about the conversation he just had.   
Was it possible to fuck up less than he did?

He doubted that.

Orochimaru had every right to be pissed off at him for leaving like that, leaving his team in the middle of everything.  
They were capable and powerful and Jiraiya was sure that they would come on top of the things with or without him, but in his twenties Jiraiya wasn't the best when it came to word things out. 

Jiraiya probably should be grateful for not being dead, but at the same time he was annoyed at the fact that he's here and now.   
The thoughts of being an ungrateful bastard are stopped by a meow.

Well, it's not exactly a meow, more like a growl of a really pissed off animal that was a feline of some sort. Probably.  
It was a vaguely cat-shaped ball of fur, dirty and missing a solid chunk of its left ear and it's bearing tiny needles of teeth at Jiraiya. 

He looked down at the thing and it growled again, the noise way too big for its tiny size. 

"That's my window, you know," he said.

It really was, Jiraiya wanted to return home like any seasoned ninja would. 

However the windowsill was occupied by an angry ball of dirty fur, so Jiraiya sighed and dropped down, to enter the apartment the civilian way.  
The probably-a-cat glares at him suspiciously from his side of the apartment. 

Jiraiya shrugged and decided that he might as well dig through what was left in his cupboard.  
He ends up with a can of sardines that should still be edible.

After cracking the can open, Jiraiya pushed the food in the general cat proximity, avoiding getting his hands mauled only thanks to well honed ninja reflexes. 

"Feisty little shit," he muttered, stepping away, just to be sure it was a safe distance. 

The cat ate angrily, attacking the fish with ferocity, while glaring at Jiraiya. Somehow it managed to continue making the loud growling noise and not choke on the food.

Jiraiya decided against staring at the cat too much; it was late and he still had the whole bathroom to conquer before it was clean enough to use and the furball looked like it considered murder. 

xxx

The cat was back the very next evening, startling the ever living shit out of Jiraiya, who was just minding his own business and writing down what he remembered of his own novels. Icha Icha was a real gem and he would not deprive the world of it. 

"Alright, alright!" Jiraiya said quickly and rushed for the cupboard.

He did a bit of shopping in the morning and by pure accident - completely unplanned, truly - picked up a few cans of fish.

"Here!" he presented the little menace with an open can, once again avoiding getting mauled only because he was fast enough.

"I should've take you to battle and throw you at my enemies," Jiraiya grunted and returned to the notes, trying to ignore the furious, wet sounds the cat made while eating. 

He wasn't sure how exactly he would pick such an angry thing, but he was Jiraiya, the master of improvisation and uncanny ways of dealing with problems.   
Problems other than trying to figure his shit after getting thrown back in time, that's it. 

xxx

The cat eventually stopped growling at him.  
Orochimaru did not. 

Jiraiya sighed deeply and rested his head on the counter top.

"What am I doing wrong?" he whined.

"Wrooow," said his little furry friends and moved his paws a little, yellow eyes staring at Jiraiya.

"I don't think sardines would work on him," Jiraiya replied. 

The cat blinked and then licked his paw. Loudly. It radiated contempt, as if Jiraiya wasn't worthy of his attention. 

"You say I didn't try?"

To be honest... he didn't.   
But Orochimaru was really behaving like a feral cat, Jiraiya could see the more similarities the longer he fed the ferocious ball of fur that took to visiting his window still each evening.   
|It... could work. 

Probably not with sardines, because Orochimaru would throw the can right back at him, but with something else?

"You're a really smart stinky little shit!" Jiraiya grinned at the cat. 

It looked at him like he was stupid.   
Exactly like Orochimaru would. 

xxx

"Hey, open up, I just want to talk!" Jiraiya knocked against at the doors, thanking all heavens that having trapped houses had become illegal in Konoha after a few incidents involving ANBU in Jonin houses and manslaughter. 

"I don't!" Orochimaru growled back.

It was progress from yesterday and definitely from two days ago. Now Orochimaru was using actual words to get rid of him.

"But I have a cake!"

"...You what?"

It wasn't a work of art by any means. it was slightly tilted to the side, the filling was a slippery mess that was everywhere but inside of the cake but it looked definitely better than Jiraiya's first tries.  
And it smelled nice. 

The doors actually cracked open. While the perspective of punching Jiraiya in the face wasn't enough to get Orochimaru out of the house, a seemingly surreal situation was enough to irk his curiosity.

"See?" Jiraiya beamed. "A cake!"

He was probably too excited by such great progress and almost showed the cake into Orochimaru's face. 

"That's an absolute mess, not a cake," Orochimaru stated coldly, leaning away.

"Oh don't be like that, I worked hard on it!"

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to talk to you!" Jiraiya forced himself to grin a little bit less. "We don't do that anymore."

"Don't you think there's a reason for that?" Orochimaru grunted and closed the doors in Jiraiya's face with a loud thud. 

It took five cakes and two trays of cookies before Orochimaru was actually willing to accept the gift. And then closed the doors in Jiraiya's face. With a slightly less loud thud. 

It took seven more before he somehow managed to wrestle Orochimaru into visiting.  
Jiraiya still wasn't sure how.

It could be the icing. While he still failed and making the cream filling obey, Jiraiya was doing great when it came to icing, his affinity for seal and steady hand being a great boon. 

He put the newest cake on the table and served the tea, remembering about the unholy amount of honey Orochimaru used to sweeten his drinks with. 

"You are very stubborn," Orochimaru said, stabbing the food with a fork. He looked like he considered stabbing Jiraiya instead.

"I am," Jiraiya agreed.

"Why now?"

"I was a dick," he said with a shrug. "I could've stop and explain things better. I didn't."

"I don't think an explanation would be enough," Orocihmaru narrowed his eyes. "Any explanation. You're not a missing nin only because sensei likes you too much."

"And because Konoha would look bad with one of the big names going rogue," Jiraiya said dryly. 

Orochimaru quirked his eyebrow.

"What? That's the truth and we both know it," he sighed. "Look, I know it's late. Really really late and probably way too late for any excuse. But I don't want to be alone."

"You could've go after Tsunade," Orochimaru pointed out, stabbing the cake again. "Instead of being a nuisance to me."

"I think she needs her alone time," Jiraiya said.

"And I don't?" Orochimaru huffed.

Jiraiya had all the hindsight to say that indeed, Orochimaru was the last person that should be left to their own volition.  
Alone didn't work for him, but Jiraiya couldn't say anything that wouldn't him make sound like a crazy person, so he kept his mouth shut.  
Luckily, it was evening and the meal time for a certain ball of fur.

"What is that?" Orochimaru asked, staring at the window still, where the cat yowled his demands.

"That's a cat," Jiraiya replied.

"I can see that," Orochimaru grit his teeth. "What's it doing here?"

"Oh, that's Sasuke."

"Sasuke."

"Yeah, it looks angry enough to be a Sasuke, " Jiraiya said with certainty and picked up the cat to demonstrate.

For a moment it dangled like a wobbly piece of rag in his fingers, too shook by anyone daring to touch him to move. The shock passed quickly and the cat bristled up with a furious yowl and the paws darting around.

Jiraiya dropped the cat and stepped away before it decided his leg looked enough like something to maul.

"You named a cat after Sensei's father."

"Oh!" Jiraiya slapped his forehead. "That's why the name was so familiar."

"You are hopeless," Orochimaru shook his head.

And then chuckled.  
He was fighting it, he was doing anything in his might to not make a sound, but his shoulders were already shaking and covering his mouth didn't help much.

Sasuke yowled furiously, demanding his can.

Orochimaru laughed harder.

xxx

Sasuke hated Jiraiya for about four days after getting a bath.  
It was a brutal battle, but he was stinking up the place and Orochimaru put his foot down.

Orochimaru also found Jiraiya's battle scars to be absolutely hilarious. Which was not very nice but also very in character for him, so Jiraiya let it go.

Now Orochimaru was stretched out on the sofa, reading through the draft of the newest novel, a piece of carrot cake in the reaching distance.  
It was a very pretty cake and Jiraiya was proud of how far he managed to go since the first wobbly excuse of a baked good. Even the cream filling started to obey and not leak everywhere.

Sasuke, the great judge of character and the heartless traitor was lying on Orochimaru's legs, long, satisfied and surprisingly fluffy, kneading lazily at the fabric of purple kimono the other man was so fond of.

"Why the main character dies at the end?"

"It felt like a good conclusion for his arc," Jiraiya replied with a small shrug.

While the "Tale of the Gutsy Ninja" was a novel he used to pick himself up and continue living in this world  
This novel was a way to deal with the past. Future. Whatever it was.  
A tale of a wandering hermit who was a swordsman and his sassy little shit of an apprentice, dealing with a world haunted by a vengeful overlord who was out to destroy everything in sight.

"I wanted to make space for the next generation," he explained.

"I don't like it," Orochimaru wrinkled his nose. 

"It's a good ending!"

"No, it isn't!" Orochimaru repeated. "It's bad enough you named the character after your cat. Poor thing, it doesn't deserve this treatment."

"You like Sasuke more than me," Jiraiya whined.

"Of course I like him more," Orochimaru replied. "He knows how to get his mouth shut."

"Since when?"

"He's quiet when I'm here."

"And screaming my head out all the other time," Jiraiya shook his head and rand fingers through his hair. "Alright, so what do you propose?"

"Your other novel ended on a more optimistic note," Orochimaru replied with a shrug.

"Most of my novels are optimistic."

"Novels, not... that silly excuse for a book," he replied, grimacing with distaste. 

"You told me it was stupid," Jiraiya replied. 

He could argue about the many values the Icha Icha series had and he could poke fun at the fact that Orochimaru read all of these. 

He could.

Maybe he would. 

At some point.

"Stupid doesn't mean bad."

"Aw, always knew you were a sap!"

"I just don't like how you kill the main character. It seems senseless, with the villain still out there."

Jiraiya looked at Orochimaru lazily lounging on the sofa. He held the manuscript with one hand and gestured with another and his black hair was slipping from the messy loop it was tied into, brow locked in a furrow as if the pages personally offended him.

Sasuke meowed and then shifted, unhappy about all that movement, and licked his paw in the most arrogant way he could. 

“I think I can figure out a better ending,” Jiraiya said and smiled. 

xxx

Councilman Danzo Shimura disappeared the day after he scouted Orochimaru in the middle of the cemetery. 

"Don't you find it suspicious?"

"Well, I sure do find his behavior rude," Jiraiya replied, kneading the dough with utmost care. "That's not a place where you talk to people! and then he just went off. Rude!"

There could be some reverse summoning involved, but he wasn't going to say it out loud.  
There also could be a sudden push into the oil fountain, but he knew nothing about that either.

In his humble opinion the newest statue at Mount Myoboku looked extraordinarily realistic, especially after he painted on a mustache. 

"Of course," Orochimaru sighed and reached to the cupboard for a box of cat treats.

Sasuke perked up.

"You're spoiling him."

"Oh, shush." 


End file.
